


Day 23 - Burn

by Amuah



Series: Haikyuu!! Writober 2020 [23]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mentioned Kozume Kenma, Nekoma, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Sick Character, Unrequited Love, but the fic is real short, lets go actual angst this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27686134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amuah/pseuds/Amuah
Summary: Yaku sat with his head in his hands, fingers threaded through his own hair. He felt like he couldn’t take a deep breath, like his lungs had stopped intaking air halfway to capacity. A water bottle appeared in Yaku’s face, the third year looking up to see Lev with his arm outstretched, his stupidly expressive face masked with concern.Yaku’s breathing seemed to worsen.
Relationships: Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke
Series: Haikyuu!! Writober 2020 [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1994824
Comments: 1
Kudos: 39





	Day 23 - Burn

Yaku’s lungs burned as he played, chest heaving as he watched Kenma’s toss. He positioned himself in the path he expected the ball to take, ready to take the impact of Kai’s spike. Instead, the spike flew past his head. He had miscalculated the toss. He looked behind him at where the volleyball had slammed into the ground in surprise. _Keep the oxygen flowing_ , Kuroo’s voice echoed in Yaku’s head but he couldn’t help but place his hands on his knees, trying to collect his breath. 

Yaku was much more winded in practice that day, out of breath already just with the hitting lines. He felt off-balance, the world seemed to spin off its axel and suddenly he was on the bench, a concerned Kuroo standing over him.

“You good, Yakkun?” He had his hands placed on his hips, looking down at the libero.

“Yeah, just uh, having an off day I guess.” Kuroo nodded and patted his shoulder in a, _happens to the best of us_ gesture before telling Coach Nekomata that Yaku would be sitting out for a while. 

Yaku sat with his head in his hands, fingers threaded through his own hair. He felt like he couldn’t take a deep breath, like his lungs had stopped intaking air halfway to capacity. A water bottle appeared in Yaku’s face, the third year looking up to see Lev with his arm outstretched, his stupidly expressive face masked with concern. 

Yaku’s breathing seemed to worsen.

He quickly took the bottle before smiling stiffly and telling him to go to the rest of the team. He didn’t play for the rest of that day, taking the bus home instead of his usual jog. He thought the night would proceed as usual but for the whole night, Yaku felt as if there was an object in his throat, the slight discomfort that came from eating to0 quickly or something not going down right.

He was working on his last piece of classwork for the night when the feeling became overwhelming. He jumped out of his seat and into the adjacent bathroom, coughing into the sink. At first he didn’t realize what he had coughed up, what had been stuck in his airway. _What is that?_ He thought, studying the obstruction that had landed in his sink.

“A petal?” he muttered to himself. A small dark red petal sat in his sink at contrast to the harsh tones of his bathroom lights. His breath was shaky as he watched it, the warm water from the faucet removing the dark red dye, trails of coloring the same color as blood washing down the drain.

 _I can’t_. Even in his own mind he was having a hard time forming the words. _I can’t have it_. But it was already too late. Yaku was in love.

The petal was the first of many.

Yaku had kept going to practice, even if he could only play for 15 minutes at a time. Kuroo knew, of course, and if Kuroo knew then Kenma knew. It was always one of them who covered for him, excusing his trips to the bathroom to cough up petals, looks of sympathy cast in his direction as he watched the team play. As he watched _Lev_ play.

Yaku was in love with the tall silver-haired boy. But he didn’t love him back. Yaku couldn’t blame him, though. His attitude towards Lev before he had developed Hanahaki disease wasn’t exactly kind and Lev was always finding excuses to run away from practice, run away from him. It hurt, even more than the flowers he choked up each day. 

Lev would watch Yaku every day with concerned eyes, ones that didn’t hold the same affections for the libero as he did for him. Eyes that didn’t quite understand what was wrong, who had never seen the blood that he had started to cough up along with the petals.

He was playing now, out of breath from the simplest of maneuvers, flowers filling his lungs. He felt the familiar yet sickening sensation of sharp pain in his throat, of not being able to breathe. It came up so quickly that Yaku didn’t even have time to stumble to the bleachers. He coughed and fell to the ground on the court, his team quickly surrounded him. Yaku heard distant concerned comments flowing around him, but only one voice stood out.

“Yaku-san, are you okay?” The sweet voice filled his ears and he smiled even around the petals climbing their way through his airway, choking past the crook of his lips at the sound of his love. One more violent cough and the secret was out, dark red petals stained even darker with blood landing on the gym floor under him.

Everyone was silent, knowing what the flower petals meant. Yaku had done some research after the first time he had seen the dark red in his sink, finding that the flowers growing in his lungs were peonies, flowers that represented compassion and bravery, romance and prosperity. He had scoffed at the website. _So much for that_ , he had thought.

Now the same flower was on the floor beneath him, drops of blood surrounding. He would have laughed if he didn’t think he would choke again if he tried. Yaku looked up, the first gaze he met, of course, Lev’s, who was staring at him in disbelief. The look in Yaku’s eyes as he looked at him must have told something because his expression morphed from shock to horror.

 _No, it’s not your fault_ , he wanted to say, always able to read his face like a book. _Please don’t blame yourself_. He couldn’t get the words out, voice too scratched and breaths too shallow. Even then, looking at the terrified face of the boy he loved, the one who had just learned of his disease, the flowers continued to bloom, his love growing stronger, leaves slowly filling his airways.

Yaku had multiple more episodes that day, no longer able to hold the choking sensations off until he was in a suitable place so instead he spent that night locked in his bathroom. Lev had run off after Kuroo had helped Yaku back to his feet, having grabbed a towel to wipe off the ground. Yaku hadn’t seen Lev since. _Love sucks_ , he thought, knowing he would rather see the tall first year than live like this for any longer. 

He let out a shallow exhale, only for it to bring another clump of petals to his airway. Yaku was _so tired_ , throat raw from all the times he coughed uncontrollably into that same sink, the taste of rust in his mouth more common than anything else as blood filled his mouth.

Yaku couldn’t do it again. Even leaning over the sink and preparing for the heaving coughs that had shaken him so many times was exhausting, blood staining the porcelain sink for the last time. He couldn’t make the effort to cough, not enough oxygen circulating through him to maintain the effort. Instead, he sank to the floor, arms hugging his own chest as he tried to breathe past the obstruction. _Hopeless_ , he thought. Months of suffering, only to lead to this.

Tears welled in his eyes, the burning in his lungs, the pain in his throat stripping him of his hope as the droplets fell. 

Yaku Morisuke’s last thoughts were flashes of emerald green eyes and silver hair as he choked on the peonies, flowers of romance and prosperity ending the young man’s life.

**Author's Note:**

> It was exactly three pages on Google Docs... We love that.
> 
> Tell me if this was good! Be brutal, I don't usually write angst so I want the feedback!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!  
> Kudos and comments are always welcome :)


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